A Friendly Reminder Reflection from QLC
By Andy Stanton-Henry
One of my favorite musicals is Fiddler on the Roof. Tevye, the narrator and protagonist in the play, has a great respect for “tradition!” but he keeps coming upon situations that challenge his loyalties. His daughters keep falling in love with the “wrong” guys, for example. So Tevye often finds himself wandering around pondering his dilemmas, saying “on one hand…” then “on the other hand…” At one point, he keeps going back and forth from one hand to another until he finally exclaims: “There is no other hand!”
There are some situations where we have enough ethical and spiritual clarity that we can say: “There is no other hand!” It would be nice if this was the norm. President Truman joked that he was looking for a “one-handed economist” who wasn’t always talking about tradeoffs on “one hand” or “the other hand.”
But most situations leaders face require a careful consideration of two hands. This is annoying but perhaps by divine design. We work best with two hands.
Most great spiritual truths require holding a creative tension between two paradoxical values:
- grace and truth
- mystery and evidence
- faith and works
- mercy and justice
- study and service
- individual and community
- prophetic challenge and pastoral care
- contemplation and action
In fact, spiritual teacher Richard Rohr founded the Center for Action and Contemplation and said the most important word in the name was not “contemplation” or “action” but “and.” He calls it a shining and sacred word.
I agree completely. I try to approach life and leadership with a both/and mentality. So much so that many people refer to me as “both/Andy.” [I kid. No one calls me that.]
Friend Elton Trueblood refers to “and” as the “holy conjunction.”
I like that. However, when we face tension in our meeting, church, or organization, the tendency is to immediately eliminate it. This may be due to our discomfort with conflict or because we are convinced of our own rightness. While there are times when we need to use one hand more than another, we really do need both hands. In the words of one thought leader, conflict is often not a problem to be solved so much as a tension to be held (and leveraged).
Is there tension or conflict in your life and leadership causing you discomfort? Is there a way to hold that tension in a creative way?
It’s possible that holding and managing those adverse energies make actually open up a third way you didn’t see before.
Try it with two hands.