Friendly Reminder: The Process is the Purpose
By Andy Stanton-Henry
I was recently in a planning meeting with Frances Kreimer, Director of Education at Pendle Hill, and she used a phrase that got me pondering. We were talking about our shared commitment to bringing new Friends together in both the planning and programming of events and she said: “the process is the purpose.”
When I asked her later to elaborate on that phrase, Frances shared how this philosophy shapes her work at Pendle Hill:
We are building an experiment in spiritual learning community every day, and the process of nurturing relationships leading up to and following our larger gatherings is a fundamental part of that work. In my experience, community cannot be made of a series of discrete events, but rather by the organic relationships that grow up before, during, and after those moments of gathering.
I love that. Reaching goals is important. Creating quality programming is important. But the processes of planning, discerning, and connecting are just as important. They are indeed part of the purpose.
In my experience, everything always circles back to the centrality of relationships, Whether it’s programming, politics, ministry, or anything else.
How do we prepare for an unknown future? Margaret Wheatley was asked. Her answer: “We attend to the quality of our relationships.”
Facilitating good process is an important way we attend to our relationships. We plan events, make decisions, and host conversations in a way that shows respect for those relationships.
Those good processes also anticipate and illustrate the ideal end. This is the spirit behind the saying oft-quoted by Friends: “There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.” This is sometimes called “prefigurative practice.” Our current practice provides a foretaste of the future we seek.
The more we learn about the world, the more we see that life is process. Everything is made up of process and relationship.
Process is inevitable. The only question is what kind of presence we will bring to the process. Presence is a precious gift we give to the world and it is actually the main tool of leadership. According to systems theory, it is our presence that influences others more than any trick or technique.
Leadership is about bringing a non-anxious but proactive presence to the processes of life and community.
Being a non-anxious and proactive presence is hard. There is so much to be anxious about. We encourage one another to “trust the process.” But why? Processes break down. Processes still involve people, who are fickle and fallible.
But sometimes, the process “works.” It matches us with the right candidate. It brings forth buried wisdom. It creates an opening for reconciliation. It inspires creative ideas for ministry. It creates space for deep listening and right action. Processes can be powerful.
For me, I return to a promise from Jesus that Quakers have been known to reference: “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matt. 18:20).
When we gather — each of us bringing our full presence —- we can trust the process will reveal a Presence — the “Presence in the Midst.” Or, the “Presence in the Process.” By the way, there is a whole school of theology called “Process Theology”!
Without that Presence, I’m not sure we should “trust the process.”
In fact, while the Presence and process become intertwined, they are not to be equated.
There’s a word for this in the Bible: idolatry.
There’s a word for this in psychology: addiction.
For example, “Quaker process” is a wonderful thing. It helps us navigate tricky problems and listen for Spirit’s voice as we make decisions. It has great pedagogical potential. That’s a fancy way of saying it has the power to teach us many thing: how to resolve conflict, how to listen, how to speak, when to stand up or stand aside, where to discern the promptings of Love and Truth. At its best, Quaker process demonstrates the “process is the purpose” principle. It is a way that shows us the Way.
BUT process for the sake of process is not the point. Process without Presence is dead.
As a mentor of mine used to say: “The people shouldn’t serve the structures. The structures should serve the people.”
And as another wise Teacher used to say: “The Sabbath was made for humanity, not humanity for the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27).
Quaker process is not the only way for God to speak or lead. It’s not infallible or incorruptible. It still requires people who can bring a prayerful presence into the process.
Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath and over Quaker process and over all things. Possibly even “Faith and Practice.” [In non-Christian words, the process may be part of the purpose but it’s not the “Ultimate Concern.”]
My friend Scott Wagoner and I were recently talking about a concept called “process addiction.” For individuals, process addiction involves repeating a behavior or “process” (as opposed to being addicted to a substance) for an internal reward regardless of the consequences to that person’s well-being.
Organizations (yes, meetings & churches included) can also get addicted to processes. We compulsively repeat processes without regard to whether they are still necessary and fitting. Whether they still carry Life or point us to the Presence.
Freedom from this addiction looks like what Robert Quinn calls “adaptive confidence.” When we rightly order the Presence, people, and process, we are free to both preserve precious traditions and adapt our processes to fit the current people and experience of the Presence.
So remember my friends, the process is the purpose. Steward your processes well. Let them teach and form us in the Quaker Way. Trust that there is a Presence in the Process.
But be careful: process can be addicting.
